i love small joys so much!!!! yes i love my coffee in my favorite mug!!! i love the sun spilling in the window!!! i love the wind on my face!!! i love my blanket over my lap!!! i love the clouds in the sky!!!! i am seeking joy in every moment!!!!
Call yourself loser, stupid, ugly and other similar things
Downplay your skills
Not realize your worth
Think basic human decency is something you don’t deserve
Overthinking every situation
This post is especially for you.
Self-esteem isn’t just “confidence”. It’s being aware of your skills, traits, achievements but most importantly, it’s having trust in yourself so you don’t question your abilities and it’s the realization that you can take care of yourself so no need to worry.
Some exercises I’ve read and tried that help with your self-esteem:
Avoid negations in your speech, especially when you refer to yourself. Using too many not, don’t won’t, etc can make you think negatively. Use affirmations. “I am stunning” has a bigger impact than “I’m not ugly”.
Compliment yourself daily for 1 thing. It can be about anything. You can also write them down if you have a planner.
Say affirmations like: i am confident, i am capable, i am smart etc. You don’t have to believe them, you’ll believe them with time but just saying it out loud or whispering them it’s enough.
Acknowledge your skills and achievements. Write them down actually, so you see that you’re accomplished in quite a lot of areas. Reminder: achievements doesn’t have to be “i won a national competition”, it can also be “i learned to cook by myself”, “i read 2 pages of a book during a very busy day”, “i finally brushed my teeth after a week of depression” etc.
Your clothes and your environment will influence your feelings. Think a little bit, do you have a favorite hoodie, t-shirt, shoes? They make you feel good, right? Now, when you get anything new for your self, make sure every item makes you feel like royalty. Same for your environment, you want to have a space that you love being in.
Invest in yourself. Learn new languages, read new books, pick up coding, crochet a bag, volunteer at a shelter, gave a herb garden etc. The point is, get new skills and experiences so 1) you enjoy life, 2) you get out of your comfort zone, 3) you get new skills and views.
Take yourself on a date every once in a while. It’s important to spend time with yourself and relax but also ponder what you’d enjoy to experience next. Being alone seems to be scary for many people but you can discover many new sides of yourself in solitude so have a break from the world every once in a while.
Your self-esteem is important because if you have trust in yourself, nothing can shake that. No one’s opinion, thoughts or actions can influence your love for you.
The mountain just doesn’t bow in front of a blow of wind.
This list can be used as a bucket list for goals, experiences and passions but at the same time, it can be a way to get out of your comfort zone and build new skills.
Start a herb garden
Learn to make candles
Take self-defense classes
Make creative jams
Learn to draw
Coding
Crochet
Make beads and wire decorations
Paint
Bake
Run a marathon
Compliment strangers for a day
Go on a picnic
Behave like a tourist in your town
Read a genre you never tried before
Volunteer somewhere
Paint your mirror with quotes and characters you like
Learn a new language
Learn a sign language
Embroidery
Buy a hot meal for a homeless
Learn about a mental illness
Keep a journal for 1 month and compliment yourself daily
Write to a celebrity, influencer, anyone who changed your life
For 1 week, say whatever you feel when you interact with people
Learn 1 dance from a band
Do aerobics
Try yoga
Learn to walk in your hands
Make customized packages for cookies that you give to friends
Learn about nutrition
For 1 month, dedicate 1-2 hours to your happiness
For 1 week wear all the clothes you love
Write letters to your friends, show gratitude for the support they showed towards you so far
Try to be “no waste” for 1 week
Learn about NLP
Watch a documentary about another culture
Make an Easy or West African recipe
Go to a restaurant or cafe alone
Learn to play a new instrument
Start a YouTube channel
Make a course on Udemy or a similar site
Sew a tote bag and gift it
For 1 week, give small treats to people you know when you meet them
Try 10 new things in the span of 1 week
For 1 week try only new recipes
Make a plate or a pot
Raisin decorations
Learn chess
Learn about plants
Avoid using negations or words with negative meanings for 1 week. (E.g: don’t, won’t, haven’t, not etc)
Try to write a tiny book.
Start a blog.
Avoid caring about what others think for 3 days.
Learn how to fold clothes better
Donate things you don’t need
Avoid using the phone, laptop, tv for more than 2-3 hours for a week
Sew handkerchiefs for yourself and others
Get a plant
Start a new social media profile and post whatever you enjoy during the day. No stress over how pretty, aesthetic or nice the picture should be like.
Wear unmatched socks for 1 week.
Get a temporary tattoo
Have a sleepover with a friend
Behave like your favorite characters for 1 week
Stargaze
Make a teddy bear or another plushie from scratch
Feed some animals: ducks, cats, pidgeons, crows
Befriend some crows
Learn tarot
Indulge in something you enjoy daily for 1 month
Learn to ride a bike, a skateboard, skate etc
Go on a date with yourself, do whatever you wanted to do but didn’t get the chance to yet
Visit a museum or a garden
Apply to something, a scholarship, a raise, a job, anything
Compliment an elderly person
Try to say something kind to everyone you meet/talk to. If not, at least smile at them.
Get an accessory you wanted for a long time
Cook with everything you have in your pantry and fridge only for 1-2 weeks
Avoid fried dishes for 1 week
Go to bed before 10pm or at least midnight for 1 month
Come up with 3 problems or things you want to work on and 3 ways (for each) on how to work on these aspects
Whenever you have negative thoughts, try to find something worth loving that day or about that person for 1 week
Go 1-2 weeks without buying anything new
Ask people what change could make your relationship/communication better. Ask 3-5 people.
Celebrate every small achievement somehow for 1 week
Avoid using gas or electricity for 3-7 days
Learn how to fix something, anything
Make origami decorations
Try to have a minimalist room/house for 1 month
Avoid people who make you feel uncomfortable for 1 week
Try to avoid over explaining yourself for 1 week
Watch a Ghibli movie (my suggestions: spirited away, Howl’s moving castle or Totoro)
Make your meals look aesthetically pleasant for 3 days
Get a puzzle and work on it when you overthink. See how fast or how much time you spent on it.
Say thank you instead of sorry for 1 month. E.g. sorry for being late -> thank you for being patient
Make your own hot chocolate recipe
Read 1 article daily for 2 weeks. Any topic
Make a bento for someone you care about.
Give a hug to your close ones every time you meet them.
Make lists with resources or places you might need to check out
Make a plan for each goal
Write a message to motivate yourself in the morning
Build a Pinterest board with the aesthetic you imagine/want
Write down how you want these goals to look like once achieved
Make a playlist that puts you into the right mindset
Make a jar with random quotes, fictional characters, moments, scenes etc that motivate you. Get one when you feel down.
Have a day where you spend time relaxing and trying to find more motivation.
Always ask yourself why and how when you deal with something. Why is this problematic? How can you solve it?
Watch some movies where the character has the same goal as you
Watch a motivational anime
Follow YouTube channels that motivate you
Talk to people who have the same goal or were in your position. Get some tips from them.
Have some deadlines for your tasks.
Make systems for when you feel tired or unmotivated. Consistency is important so try to be consistent when you’re in no mood. Be solution oriented.
For 2 minutes, do something for your goal.
Have an app with reminders.
Have a tracker, digital or on paper and see what your streak for consistency is.
Write down what you do for your goals. This is your visual proof for the work you put in.
Do 1 thing daily that puts you closer to your final goal/aesthetic.
Have a partner so you keep each other on track.
Say affirmative statements about your goals. Be positive.
Write yourself letters that you open when in doubt, in need of motivation or when you want to see how far you’ve gone.
Ask yourself “what can I do today to get me closer to my goal?”. Even if it’s something small, make progress.
Once a week or once a month, celebrate in a special way the progress you’ve made. Get a particular cookie you like, make your favorite meal, try out a new snack. Choose something meaningful but not over the top.
Write yourself a meaningful ticket, tape it and carry it with you for when you need some motivational words.
Follow some motivational pages on the social media you use on a daily basis.
Write down the list of traits you want/need to have for your goals and do something to improve one of them.
Manage your emotions and stress level. People will discourage you. You will discourage yourself. Tasks will become difficult. Manage your emotions, good and bad. Know when to change your approach and when to be resilient.
Have a support system.
Think of your reactions and plan how to deal with them ahead of time. You know yourself best.
Always adapt as you go.
Be curious, be a beginner. Think there’s always more to learn so you don’t fall into the trap of routine and old habits.
Try to challenge yourself every once in a while.
Decide if you want a fast paced approach or a slow one. Experiment when you need variety.
Enjoy what you’re doing or the goals will become torture.
Decide how much you want to share with others. Sometimes being private is good, other times it can keep valuable information out.
Try to get out of your comfort zone little by little.
Just do something, start working for the goal. Planning can help but you learn faster with practice.
Either have the confidence that you can achieve whatever you want or decide that you can learn how to do things along the way. Your trust in yourself is essential.
Choose the goal.
Make a plan for it. Focus on small achievable things at first. Build up some momentum/confidence.
Whatever obstacle you deal with, either look for solutions or focus on the positive “what ifs”. Negativity will make you hit a wall.
Whenever something doesn’t work, try again with a different method.
Take into consideration your mental health too. A short break won’t make you lose the progress you have. Doing the bare minimum will work better than exhausting yourself and then not doing anything.
Avoid thinking habits are for forever. If you want to change, do so. Adapting along the way doesn’t mean you failed.
For the followers who are dealing with mental illnesses, you might need some extra tools.
Have a playlist with music that motivates you to move.
Have a folder with pictures. Seeing what you want to achieve can help you sometimes.
Focus on the small achievements. Celebrate everything so you don’t focus only on the final goal and lose the spark along the way.
Keep a journal so you see that you do things. Whenever you feel like you don’t do “much”, check the journal.
Feel free to make a journal where you write daily 1-2 sentences to motivate yourself to do something for the goal. Again, something ridiculously small is better than nothing.
To gain motivation to do something, move around a bit.
Some additions:
Sometimes, you need a break. Take a break and i talk about a few days if you need that.
Whenever you start overthinking, either focus on the positive extremes or make a plan for every bad outcome.
Write down step by step guides for things that stress you.
Write your reasons why you want to achieve what you try to achieve.
Avoid getting attached to 1 path, method, way etc. If you think “doing only X will help me achieve my goal”, you’re inflexible. Keep an open mind.
Try again. If something doesn’t work, it’s not your fault. Try again.
